SNL: Property Brothers Help Trump Remodel White House

 Americans were shocked to see Trump demolish the East Wing to make way for a ballroom, and the play featured ICE, the demolition of movie theaters, Melania's decorating style, and Trump's desire for a third term.

Taylor announced, "This week, we're facing our biggest challenge yet—building the new White House ballroom." "Donald and Melania moved into this house nine years ago. They were evicted for four years, but they came back. Donald has a keen interest in interior design."

"I've placed these gold urns everywhere," said James Austin Johnson, impersonating Trump.

“Like a hundred in every room. That makes me happy. It’s very important to be happy these days. Really dark stuff happening in the world. Some of it is me. And here’s a crown I just got from my trip to Asia. Nothing says democracy like a crown, right?,” Johnson’s Trump said.

Teller then takes a tour of the White House with the Trumps, commenting on Melania’s taste. “She’s got a style all her own. I love these Halloween decorations you put up.” 

“Those are for Christmas,” deadpans Melania, played by Chloe Fineman. 

“The Trumps have already made a few subtle changes to the house,” Teller explains.

“Donald put a painting of himself as a soldier from ‘Halo,'” Melania points out.

Melania explains that the remodeling is taking place because the house is “only 55,000 square feet” and they need a ballroom, because “Donald, he loves to dance.” 

“I’m a terrific dancer. Terrific dancer. Just ask your eyes. Right?,” says Trump. 

The Property Brothers said they asked Donald what his budget was and he said “Between $350 million and infinity.”

Trump then tells the brothers he wants to construct a ring for MMA fights and proposes hosting “bum fights.” “Official ones but also casual fights in the backyard, you know what I’m talking about? Two mentally ill guys just whaling on each other. Do bum fights again. Remember bum fights? We love bum fights!,” Trump exclaims.

“It will be ready just in time for my third term. We want this to be our forever home. Because we’re not leaving. We’re going to be doing something called coup,” says Trump

 As they end their White House tour, Teller says, “I guess the only thing left is the payment for the construction.”

“Aren’t you guys from Canada? Trump asks, yelling “ICE!” as agents storm the room. “There goes ICE. We like them. Spooky, very spooky. It’s a very spooky secret police thing.”

“‘The Property Brothers.’ Only on HGTV and Truth Social,” the announcer concludes.